Ardennes Tour May 2004
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Dave feeling Chouffed with himself
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You won't catch Muscles standing on a table with his shirt off, no way
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You guys must bigger tits than me!
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Six pack or what?
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Get 'em off
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That's it, get 'em off.
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Ughh, put them back on.
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COMMUNICATIONS SKILL COURSE MODULE 3: Non-verbal communication. What do you think is going on in this scene? Predict the likely outcome if (a) the man in the green shirt is sober, and (b) the man in the green shirt is completely rat-arsed.
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Ian attempts the fabled Heimlich manoever, on the vain chance that Gary will sing better afterwards
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Andrew brings a new meaning to surfing the web
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The first of the heats of the traditional Sunday Cyclists competition to make an idiot of yourself in a foreign country.
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It's hard to keep things in perspective after three of these.
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It looks so innocent, doesn’t it?
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“D’you know – I’ve been propositioned five times tonight!”
“So have I mate”

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Damn, Damn... by the look of that ring he's married already
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Your front wheel's pitted
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It's cold, hurry up with those maps
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Simon's gone to the bank
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I'm leaning on a lamp-post at the corner of the street......
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Marcel had enormous wing mirrors. Want to buy one?
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Is that you Di?
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You're fined!
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Skippy
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Give us the wine back Gary
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First mouthful of kangaroo
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Practising for the "falling upstairs" award
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Richard uses mud from his bike to clean out the bucket
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Who do you think you're lookin at mate?
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Oh look, Peter's late again..
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Fully recovered after surgery for cleats in his feet
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What gear would you suggest, then
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Are you sure you all got over here?
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There was this bright white light, then...
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You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
or
Then we stumbled across the legendary bicycle graveyard

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Pole dancing, Ardennes-style
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Richard B fell off here. Nice init.
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Question: How many Sunday Cyclists does it take to change an inner tube? Answer: How many have you got?
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Suddenly "spoke unto Jesus" took on a new meaning.
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Then Lance Armstrong got his handle-bars caught in a bar-b-que and everyone piled up behind the yellow jersey
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View back to Rochefort
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There's that lighthouse again
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Best navigator apart from Columbus, was Simon.
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Reflectors? Check.
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The Yard-Of-Ale competition is redesigned to comply with EU regulations
or
Peter, practising for the bucket

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We had seen more life in the local crematorium.
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Dutch motorbikers
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Can you tell what it is yet?
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Marcel "one more Morceau" in action
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I don't care if you are Dutch. I'm not getting my tits out for anyone.
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I swear I went through a puddle THIS deep.
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True story lads...
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Yes it is a personal question! I don't ask you when you last had a crap do I?
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I told you wearing clip-ins wasn't a good idea!
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Bones obeys the rule to stay down until a camera arrived. But by then he'd got better.
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Richard Bennett's crash scene
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Name these 4 cycling legends?
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After route one. 45 miles.
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Time to go home
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How would you describe it then smarty-pants? Royal blue? Sky blue? China blue? Azure?
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What do you mean we're running late? We're exactly on time. We just never published the real timetable.
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Ha ha. I bet you thought I was going to fall for the old ricketty bridge trick.
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Who's that going trit trat over my bridge.
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Where there's a wheel there's actually no way at all.
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McGee mistakes his mobile for a beer bottle
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I ain't sharing with Mike for one more night
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I bet you couldn't smile like this if you'd just smacked your nuts on your handlebars.
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Nice Blue shorts, Bryan
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Oww!!!!
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Hang on I think I've worked it out. The left one makes the back wheel go slower; the right one makes the front wheel go slower. Which one makes them go faster?
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Yes I know I look total pratt but guess who's getting fined for NOT having grass in their hair.
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Should have gone to specsavers.
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Do you think we need a reservation for dinner in that one?
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Yes, Mr Kirby, that is a spectacular sample, but I'm going to need a second opinion from Dr Mackay.
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And the winner of Britain's cheesiest smile is........
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Is that Hannibal Lecter in the background?
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The Sunday Cyclists are temporarily unavailable
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Where's everybody gone?
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It said Barber's shop on the map? Now where is it?
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It's easy you pillock! Sit on the saddle, point downhill, close your eyes and don't touch the brakes. If you're not sure what to do just follow Richard Bennett.
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Get off you git! I said "jump on the grass, not jump on my arse"
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don't care if you did miss it. I'm not doing that again for your bloody camera.
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Well I was hoping it might put some nitrogen back in my brain, too.
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Sorry I gotta go now. My fifth sausage is nearly cooked.
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Velodrome entry/exit ramp
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We are not moving until whoever farted owns up.
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You bastards. You could have warned me about the crocodiles.
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So it's true, every bar has a Clever Fucker ...
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I normally juggle with Duvel, but this'll have to do
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No of course we haven't got Sky Sports. Bloody hell you'll be wanting pork scratchings next.
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The bleeding edge of cycle technology meets the bleeding edge of desperation.
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I keep telling them "it's not a race," but by God if it was ... I'd still be at the back.
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I think John left the bath running.
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No, it's Cannondales only
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Kitchen closes in half an hour
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I don't know how much longer I can hold it
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Aaaagh! Faites attention Michelle! Merde! Il y a un pillock Anglais qui s'arrêté dans le milieu de la route!
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The Battle of The Bulge is still not over.
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Fuck. I think I'm lying on a cow pat.
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Someone speak then...
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Here, Bryan, I think your pants are on fire.
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'ere, come back with my bike Dave
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Hey look at that, lads - the date's wrong. I wonder if he got that camera from network rail.
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Then the Sunday Cyclists committed mass cyclocide...except one who lived to tell the tale...
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Roll up! roll up! Win a taxi ride home! Fifty cents a try.
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Leave Andy alone
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Did you hear that, chaps? It was definitely a Yellow-Bellied Oak Warbler. Or possibly Andy whining.
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Movie clips
Where are we? (avi)
Ian directs the traffic whilst we wait for maps (avi)
Rochefort street market - well about 1% of it (avi)
Dinner table (no sound) (mov)
Marcel rolls in (no sound) (mov)
Spillage and Richard C (no sound) (mov)
Dangerous descent just after the lighthouse (no sound) (mov)
Marcel and Ian en route (no sound) (mov)
View from the Magee bike at the Abbey (no sound) (mov)
Crossing the field (no sound) (mov)
Peter through the river (avi)
and again - without success (avi)
Gary and bike on a pile of logs (avi)
Wooded track (avi)
Ian and Gary on the trail (nearly off there Simon) (avi)
Ian and Bones sing by the mill (avi)
After dinner singing (unfortunately with sound) (avi)
More singing (avi)
..and more (avi)
Walking the log across the river with ironing board (avi)
Ironing in the river (avi)
Ironing board mounted on roof rack (avi)
Ironing on top of the people carrier on the move (avi)